I am usually very careful to volunteer only for tasks I really want to do. I sometimes want to do a task because it is a new experience that I am curious about, or it is a challenge that I know I will enjoy even if it is tricky, or it will possibly teach me a new skill. The task may not be pleasant, but I know it will be productive in some way or other, even if to prove to me that I should not have volunteered to take it on. even those negative reasons feel valid reasons to volunteer.
Last night I volunteered purely because there was no one else volunteering to do something. I hate doing that, I don’t know why I do it. The task needs to be done, the person who usually does it is has no time at this point to fit that in and was very clear that she definitely could not do it. No one else would volunteer. So I did. Why? I now need to do task which I know I am not good at. I know I will not do it justice and that the results will not be well received, as I just don’t have the skills to do the usual good job.
I genuinely don’t know why I do this, it happens very rarely, but it happens at work, it happens outside work. I compulsively fill a gap when there is that loud silence when no one will volunteer. It does not always happen, mostly I absolutely know myself well enough to not over stretch in time or skills. But I am very interested in trying to work out why it happens when it does. If you have any clues, let me know.