I spend a good deal of energy trying to reduce our energy use as a family, I am regularly turning off lights, chargers, TVs, all that sort of thing. Sometimes though I forget to switch off my own brain. It’s not quite as easy as flicking a switch. Ooh it riles me when I write that – it really is as easy as flicking a switch, why is that so difficult for my housemates?
Anyway, back to switching off the brain. I finished a work day by continuing to work on a train journey and then switching to doing some volunteer work via emails and some thinking about a new project.
I didn’t stop when I got home and did some more thinking and emailing (apologies to those Scouts who I inundated with emails last night). I headed to bed later than I should have, but I did go through the usual rituals and I did unpack my case, so I thought I was well settled.
Nevertheless, I started to wake early, possible about 04.30 and my brain was already back in the Scout emails I had been occupied with last night. Not in a bad way, not worried or anxious, just back in that zone. I gave up trying to sleep at 05.30 and have done the emails before I can even settle to this. I don’t feel tired, I feel productive. I will not at 2pm this afternoon.
I am guessing that settling down to watch an hour or so of TV last night may have helped. It is these times that TV is perfect for moving my brain into a different space. It honestly did not occur to me to switch the TV on.
Or maybe I just need to accept that sometimes I just don’t sleep as well as I need to, and today will be hard, but it’s one tired day. I will of course be fine.
Going slower is a proper challenge for me. Going slower for me is waking up and writing a blog. This is definitely working to make me stop and think a bit more about the day ahead, about how I am feeling and all that sort of good stuff which is definitely making me more deliberate and slower.
It’s not quite switching off though. I want to pay some attention to that too. Partly because it is school holidays, so the rhythm of life changes pleasantly. Having teenagers means that it slows down considerably. From their point of view there’s a lot of sleeping and watching TV.
I find myself with more reading time in holidays which is great, as that was one of my aims in ‘slower’. I still have a nagging feeling that I ought to be watching TV or films though. The fact that I do not love either troubles me a bit. I possibly have to be very honest with myself and say that TV sometimes cares me and I find it too overwhelming. I can’t watch TV news, I struggle with anything that is too scary, even the current Miss Marple may prove too much for me. It’s not the same with the books, I enjoyed the Robert Galbraith Cormoran Strikeseries in books, but am haunted by the latest TV adaptation. I struggle to stay focussed on TV – I find myself on social media or googling randomness at the same time and literally lose the plot of whatever I am watching. TV documentaries drive me nuts, as do current affairs programmes, I think I process better when not forced to sit on a sofa with someone talking at me.
The total opposite is also true; once I sit down on the sofa to watch TV, I do struggle to get motivated to get up again, so end up mindlessly binge-watching episodes of something (whilst flicking through social media, so not really watching) and then end up feeling very dissatisfied.
As for films – for two years running I had a resolution to watch one film a month – at home or the cinema, it didn’t matter. I didn’t bother again this year. Just not going to happen.
Still, I am missing out and I know I am. I am going to try watching small parts of episodes and not last thing at night. Hopefully if I limit it to 40 mins, I will not feel it is a huge drag on my time, it should be easy to just watch a TV show and really focus on it for 40 mins and then I can decide to do something different if I need to.
Can’t work out the film thing though. Suggestions welcome.