Accepting the hours I have

My hours at work have changed recently and I now have one whole day off a week, I don’t work on a Friday. I was working 4 days a week, but worked a bit every day. I now work fewer hours, so have a whole day off. I am struggling. Let me be clear, it is me who is struggling, I am in no way obliged by anyone else to work in my hours off. Being clear and strong about asking for meetings on days that I am paid to work sits uncomfortably with me. I have difficulties switching off on a Friday, knowing that the email inbox is filling up, knowing that colleagues have fed back that I am difficult to get hold of.

I am very clear in my own mind that being effective is getting as much done as possible in the hours I am supposed to work. Despite that clarity, so far this Friday morning I have been diverted by my email inbox, albeit only for a few minutes as I remembered something I wanted to tell someone today rather than Monday. Of course I read and replied to a couple of other emails too.

I am trying very hard not to apologise for not being there today and also aware that the shorter week is making me feel less work-efficient than usual. Definitely needs some more work in my head though to relish and accept today as a day off and just put the work aside for a while, knowing I will be better at it on Monday if I do and that if anyone wants me to do more, they need to consider paying me for some more hours. Nope I feel guilty even typing that. Oh well, work in progress.

What do I call today?

No, not Friday. Although, it is Friday, I will call today Friday. But it is also a day where I am not working for an employer. In the coming months I will have some more of those, as a contract comes to an end.

A short discussion with friends last night has led me to ponder. “Day off” doesn’t quite cut it. One of the friends in the discussion has a side hustle, she is paid for activity on some days off and sees that activity as work. We are keen (as a group, its one of our discussion topics) to keep work – either formal or side hustles – in a work space and carve proper space between work and rest.

Obviously all days include both – or they jolly well should do anyway. Cliches often have a root in truth and all work and no play making a person dull seems like truth to me. I am focussing very strongly on putting aside the work when my time there is done. It is not easy, I am criticised for not doing enough work, not answering enough emails or calls. As a part-time worker, I think I am an easy target for those who think I should be working in my non-paid hours. To my colleagues, there seem to be a lot of non-paid hours which others cannot imagine are filled with anything as useful as my job.

Being able to describe them to other people seems to be behind my need to title the days. I feel a sense of fear that people think I am wasting my time on my days off. I know that some are surprised I do not spend time cleaning or cooking.

There is also a ritual that seems to be needed, I will not have that Friday feeling soon – my week in my paid job will end on a Thursday. So what do I call a Thursday evening? The start of a new phase of the week for sure, but I oddly feel the need for a title. It may just be me though, the discussion last night included those who felt that days are days and do not need a specific work/non-work delineation, although we were all clear that “day off” becomes a misnomer when the paid work creeps into it, which does indeed happen.

An insignificant thing to be pondering this morning, but lovely to have a day in which I know I have time to ponder the insignificant alongside the significant.