Conversations take time

I am at the end of an annual weekend catch up with two university friends.  In reality we are together for less than 24 hours, but we make the very most of the 24 hours and focus on talking and allowing conversation to go wherever it needs to.  

And part of the delight of these weekends is having the time and the space to allow conversations to meander and develop, to lull and to rise.  Our friendship was formed in the days before smart phones, in fact in the days before mobile phones of any description.  Our communications with each other were face to face in rooms and sitting rooms of university residences, in student bars and trips into London together.  Our communications with others outside the university bubble were very limited: letters, infrequent trips home and one pay phone shared between 30 people and a message system of scribbled notes pinned to a noticeboard if anyone called when you were out – or if the person answering the phone just could not be bothered to out the effort in to find you.  I know – that sounds like we were rude – but for those of you not as old as me, can you imagine the hassle of having to answer a phone on behalf of 29 other people which required you to stop whatever you were doing and run along a corridor and then spend time running around to try and find whoever was being called.  Understandably there were times when one could not be bothered. 

There was a conversation this weekend about how lovely those times were, we still did loads and felt stressed, but no doubt that communications were simple by dint of being very limited.

And this weekend has been a lovely recreation of those days of time and space for conversation, away from the distractions of a million WhatsApp/emails/texts/Facebook messages etc vying for attention.  Instead, it was just us and our focus on each other and hearing a lot of news, plans, thoughts and worries and joys in a short space of time.  Delicious.

To the person’s whose calls I did not answer – sorry, I will check the noticeboard once I am back home and queue up for the phone to call you back.

Conversations over craft

I wrote in January about the need to add some creativity into my week. Scheduling a fortnightly craft evening with friends has been one way to make that happen. We don’t meet as regularly as we would all like – some weeks it just cannot happen.

Last night it did, on a perfect day. The day had involved a lot of travel, not enough sleep, a long meeting sitting down, a lot of brain work and a fair amount of walking.

Sitting, sewing, enjoying a cup of tea and chatting to friends was just what the day needed to balance it out. I was intrigued by how the conversation flows when we are focussing on a physical activity as well. It was very comforting, flowing gently from one subject to the next, interspersed by examining and praising each others’ attempts. At times we sat in gentle silence, when concentration was needed.

A companionable, creative and non-tech based gathering of good friends. Perfect.