My batteries are running out

Good morning.  “Write blog” has languished at the bottom of the goals/to-do/things-that-would-make-me-feel-better list for a long time now.  As I wrote last time this is partly because I think I’ve said it all, not much is changing.  On reflection though, I am changing, of course I am, we are all going to be changed by this experience, so there must be things I can write about.

It feels more like my batteries have run out.  I am an extrovert.  I gain my energy from being around other people.  I am very busy at work, I have plenty going on at home, I have developed new routines and hobbies that make me very happy.  I am speaking in some way to people every day, pretty much all day.  I am video conferencing, texting, phoning and so on and so forth. I live with three lovely people.  

But I am exhausted.  I have plenty of rest, I am sleeping really well, eating well, exercising well, but still tired.  I have come to the conclusion that although I am cherishing every conversation, loving every interaction with someone else, it is just not the same in its ability to replenish my energy.  Don’t get me wrong, without all the communication I would have crumbled weeks ago.  But the screens bring their own issues.  I have struggled with eye strain, one of the reasons I have been reluctant to get my laptop out to write blogs, as I try and rest my eyes around work and social times.  Video conferences are much more intense than physical meetings, so more tiring.  

But most important, I don’t think seeing you on a screen is the same as seeing you in person.  A coffee with friends on screen is just not as reviving as a coffee in our favourite coffee shop, going to church via a screen is not as fortifying as being on a pew with other people, catching up with the family in a chaotic and fun video call is not as replenishing as having a houseful of people cooking lunch together.  Finally, I get to feel what being an extrovert is about – getting energy from other people.  And without them, I am beginning to fade.  But thank you to everyone who is spending lots of time keeping me going with your messages and calls.  Long may they continue until we meet again.

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