So you get the idea that habit is important to me, it’s easier to stick to things once they become habitual. The bad times are easier to weather if you have some good foundations to rest on, so it’s worth getting into good habits when the going is good I reckon.
One of those many rituals involves meeting one of the offspring for a coffee in the same place at the same time every week. Some weeks it feels superfluous, but I know, from bitter experience, that having that meeting time may one day come in useful when something goes wrong for us. and the fact that it is a habit means there’s no pressure for it to be special in any specific way, because there is always next week.
So, I am pondering a similar sort of ritual with the other offspring. There is no space in either my week or his for a similar coffee appointment, so we need something else. Something more shared (the other chap likes coffee and this one particular cafe). It is turning out to be surprisingly difficult to work out what to suggest, maybe because the coffee ritual was suggested by my son, not imposed by me.
Possibly the first step is to think about what interests we already share and build on that. The strength of the existing ritual is exactly that, it started with the shared enjoyment of coffee in a particular cafe. We then added an additional element of browsing in a few specific shops. So we now have a whole lovely hour of time together.
I need to put some serious thought into how to replicate the loveliness.