You may be getting the impression that I live my life according to a complex set of rules. You would be right. They are complex and they are all in my head and they don’t really affect anyone else but me, but just occasionally other people disobey the rules and I get grumpy. Despite the fact they are my rules, I invented them, they are only in my head and no one else has a clue about them. It’s unfair I know.
Apparently, I had an imaginary companion for the first four or so years of my life. It was an inconveniently large black horse, named, of course, Black Beauty. He accompanied me everywhere and there was a complex network of rules governing him and me and our relationship with the wider world. My parents regaled me with many tales of the chaos that ensued when real people did not obey the imaginary rules.
My favourite story, because it totally does not fit with all the other tales of me being a polite little girl…
One day me and Mum were sitting in a café in Gorseinon (the town of my birth – me and Leigh Halfpenny!) at a table for four. Someone, a stranger, asked if the spare seats were free – do you remember when we didn’t feel fear at sitting close to people we don’t know if coffee shops? – and my Mum said they were, because she thought they were.
Not so. Of course large black stallions also sit down to a cup of tea or a glass of squash in the morning in Gorseinon. Apparently, the bewildered lady was faced by a furious three year old yelling at her to immediately stand up as she was being very rude and squashing the three year old’s horse which he did not like at all. Mum was fairly embarrassed. As far as I remember (need to double check with Mum), the lady did indeed move.
So, I am comforted by the fact that although it makes me a slightly odd person, the complexity of the rules in my head has been there forever. And I love them. This is me.
PS I do try not to yell quite so much when others don’t obey the rules, but I do still get grumpy, need to work on that.